Blessed beyond what I deserve

Today really seemed to burden me emotionally. I can not tell you how many Will and Trust signings I have witnessed in my 4 years in estate planning but I would dare to say it is in thousands. Some of the signings weigh heavy on my heart.

I can remember one in particular that was not long after I began working. We had to go to the hospital and witness the will signing of a young man of about 27. He had been diagnosed with cancer only a few months prior and was now on his death bed. My boss had become aware of the situation through his church. The young man and his wife were in over their heads in hospital bills as well as above average credit cards debts. The husband wanted to make sure that his wife and 6 month old daughter would be taken care of after he passed. As we walked into his hospital room I was overwhelmed with how young he was. The most gut wrenching part was that as he signed he held his daughter in his arms and wept uncontrollably. The other legal assistant and I could barely hold ourselves together. The young man died only a few days later but, with a sense of peace about his daughters future.

I remember thinking that day that I would probably never sit through a more heart wrenching signing. That was until today. Chris and I decided a few weeks ago that we should go ahead and execute wills and powers of attorney. I am sure to most of you this sounds a little morbid at our age but, I can not tell you the number of families I have had to deal with that are struggling because their loved one thought they were young enough and had plenty of time to get their affairs in order. Anyway, with Chris and I leaving to go to Oklahoma this weekend we thought we would just get it out of the way. I am so glad we did. I did not know how Chris felt about being kept on life support and am so glad that it was a conversation we had together. Today our signing was hard on me for a couple of reasons. First, because my heart went out to Chris as he executed documents not leaving any alternates after me to take control. He has been struggling with this for months now and part of the reason he had been putting the whole situation off. He is dealing with so much that I don't/can't share but please pray for him and the comfort that only God can give him. Second, because, not that I did not already know but because it became so much more clear to me today how great his love for me is. (I am in tears right now) My boss told Chris and I that we did not have to execute the Directive to Physicians (aka Living Will) if we did not feel comfortable with it but I knew that if I did not and God forbid I am ever in a terminal condition that Chris would not know when or how to let go. He would keep me alive for ever if he could and come and sit by my hospital bed everyday for the rest of his life. I could not let him do that. I had to execute it to let him know that it was ok to move on. His love for me is so amazing. I am so blessed.

If our signing was not enough this afternoon I did my first signing at a jail. I always dread having to go to the hospital or hospice to have signings but figured this one would be no big deal. No one was sick or in pain. When the inmate entered the room on the other side of the glass I was shocked at young he was. His grandmother had contact us a couple of days ago. He had violated his probation and the judge had decided to revoke it and send him to prison. His grandmother was so sweet and polite and her grandson was too. He sat on the other side of the glass and read the papers more intently that any other client I have ever seen. He asked lots of questions and really complicated questions at that. He seemed to be very intelligent. After the signing we walked out to visit with his grandmother. She was so apologetic for the circumstances she had brought us into. My boss asked her how old her grandson was, only 28. The young man is in for a multitude of crimes all stemming from an alcohol addiction. As we left the courthouse I decided i would take signings at the hospital or hospice over the jail any day. The people in hospice and the hospital know that their pain and suffering is going to soon end and the people in jail have only began to serve their sentence.

Well know that I have depressed and scared off all 4 of my loyal readers, I am headed to bed.